Plus XP

The Next Level In Gaming

Disclaimer: The interviews for Inside Look are the ideas of the Plus XP Team ONLY and are not the ideas of the creators and developers of the games. All characters interviewed in Inside Look remain the property of the video game developers and creators. Basically we are sorry if we took your characters guys, we promise we’ll give them back.

WARNING: This weeks episode will contain a small spoiler from ‘The Passing’ DLC for Left For Dead 2. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Edward: Hello, and welcome to Plus XP’s Inside Look! I’m your host for this week, Edward Price, so let’s give a warm round of applause to me!

Oh, that’s fine. I see how it is. Jerks.

Anyway, since my long rehabiliation after my last Inside Look and despite being fired after my last article here at Plus XP, I finally decided I was healthy enough to come back and give everyone another Inside Look into the amazing world of videogames!

This week, already here on the couch ready to be interviewed is one of Plus XP’s favourite new gaming characters to come out of a new favourite series of games, Bill from Left 4 Dead!

Bill’s here to promote the new downloadable content for Left 4 Dead 2, “The Passing”. New weapons, new locations, and the return of the original cast, tying together the two stories and leading to loads more fun for Left 4 Dead fans!

So, to those less educated about Bill, he’s a Green Beret and a Vietnam veteran. So I guess that the harrowing conditions in which you and three of your friends had to battle your way through relentless hordes of infected people was in some ways, similar at least to your previous incarnations in the army, Bill?

Okay, yeah, that’s probably quite a hard question to start off with… Would you say it at least, made you the most prepared of the other survivors?

Okay, so you don’t want to answer that either. Okay, uhhh…

Uhhh, this is pretty difficult if you don’t even attempt to reciprocate conversation. Uhh, is this a new Cologne you’re wearing? It’s very potent, at the least…

Your favourite weapon?

Favourite character from L4D2? I’m still tied between Ellis and Nick, myself. Did you find yourself getting on with any of them?

Wanna hear a funny story about when I was playing Left 4 Dead 1? Basically, me and my friend Keith…

He died.

Look, Bill, just because you’re covered in boomer bile, bloody, and now canonically dead doesn’t mean that you can’t answer some questions! Everyone at home is expecting some serious gaming journalism here, and I can’t deliver that to them if you don’t at least answer some questions or at least plug the new Passing DLC! Available via downloadable content free for PC and 560 Microsoft Points for Xbox 360! Get yours today!

Garvaos: Hey wait, he’s canonically dead?

Ed: Yeah, apparently he’s dead now.

Leon: How did that happen?

Ed: Well, you’ll probably have to buy “The Passing” to find out! The new downloadable content for-

Leon: Wait, you said covered in boomer bile? And can you stop working in product placement into your regular speech? It’s kind of annoying.

Ed: Yeah, that boomer bile made it really difficult to carry him away from that dumpster Valve left him in. It kind of stinks, don’t you think? It’s like somebody cooked animal poop and human flesh into chip grease, except the chip grease makes it almost smell kind of like something you’d buy and eat if you were drunk out on the town in the early hours of the morning… Anyone feel like a kebab later?

Garvaos: You idiot! You’re just going to attract hordes of zombies after us!

Ed: Uh-uh-uh! They’re not zombies! They’re infected humans! If you start lumping the infected humans with the zombies, that just makes you look like a racist.

Garvaos: Against zombies?

Ed: They have feelings too! Granted, those feelings are mostly hunger and lust for human flesh…

Garvaos: Ed, you’ve probably attracted loads of… “infected humans”… I can’t really do the quote marks while I’m still in this chair you tied me to… Anyway, Ed, you’ve probably attracted loads of them here. I can hear them outside right now!

Ed: Those were infected? I thought they were screaming, adoring fans! I signed like, 20 autographs!

Leon: How do you sign autographs while being attacked?

Ed: It’s a skill you pick up quickly if you want to survive in this business.

Leon: This business?! You tied us up to these chairs while we were sleeping, threw Bill on the couch and started throwing questions at him like a monkey throwing poop! The only reason no one else is saying anything is because you gagged them! Also because you threw monkey poop at them and quite frankly we’re all scared you’re going to start doing that again.

Ed: Wait, if they were infected, that means that… Oh man, I hope she was just ugly…

Garvaos: They’re probably going to get in soon! You’re going to have to let us out of these chairs and help us beat them off!

Ed: …They can beat themselves-

Leon: Goddammit Ed I will kill you if you don’t let us out of these chairs right now!

Ed: Okay, jeez, fine. Man you guys are whiny when someone’s tied you up and thrown animal faeces on you…

Garvaos: Where did you even get that much faeces?

Ed: Where else were all the Timesplitters monkeys going to go when Free Radical went under?

Leon: You gave them back when they became Crytek UK, right?

Ed: As far as they know…

Garvaos: Now’s not the time! Leon, untie everyone else!

Ed: Actually, can we wait until after we’ve repelled the infected? I get the feeling they’re all going to betray me or something.

Leon: Really? Really?

Garvaos: Guys! Shut up! Untie them anyway, and we’ll sort this out after the epic battle!

Ed: Can anyone think of a really awesome line or something that people will quote from now on that we can use before we go out there?

Everyone: Nope.

Leon: Anyone got the time?

Ed: I’d say it was A Quarter Past Dead… No? Nothing? The response to that one was Dead Silent.

…Still nothing? I’ve guess it’s better to face this problem… Dead On!

Garvaos: You’re still fired. In fact, if we get out of this alive, we’re not only putting you back in that rehab centre that we’re not entirely sure how you escaped from, but I’m going change the locks and fire you again.

Ed: Oh. Well, shit.

What happens to the PlusXP crew? Will they survive their terrible ordeal? How will they defeat the hordes of Infected? And what happened to Bill? Only one way to find out the answer to all of these questions! Get “The Passing” downloadable content for Left 4 Dead 2! Free for PC and 560 Microsoft Points for the Xbox 360! Note: None of these questions will actually be answered upon purchase of content.

Garvaos: Triple fired.

Ed: Oh, goddammit!

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On April - 28 - 2010

One Response so far.

  1. Dan says:

    Personally I think you were greatly unappreciated for your efforts to retrieve Bills unbeknownst to-you corpse.
    Your methods may be unorthodox, but goddamit you get the job done..

    Because you’re the hero PlusXP deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So they’ll hunt you, because you can take it. Because you’re not their hero. You’re a cynical critic, a bias reviewer. A dark knight.

    …It was really funny, on a related note.

Leave a Reply to Dan