Plus XP

The Next Level In Gaming

Disclaimer: The interviews for Inside Look are the ideas of the Plus XP Team ONLY and are not the ideas of the creators and developers of the games. All characters interviewed in Inside Look remain the property of the video game developers and creators. Basically we are sorry if we took your characters guys, we promise we’ll give them back.

The story of Edward in the Plus XP Inside Look saga is a short yet obviously troubled one.

First being kidnapped by GLaDOS, then meeting, falling in love and killing his companion cube, he then kidnapped Bill’s dead body in an overelaborate ploy to bring attention to the Passing DLC for Left 4 Dead 2, resulting in an uncertain conclusion for all concerned.

What we do know is that after the previous incident, Edward was readmitted into the Gamesville Penitentary for the Gamingly Insane (for Gamers). Assigned to his case was one Gordon Freeman (Edward asked for him personally), and the following are exercepts from Freeman’s medical entries and analyses as well as notes from the patient:

Edward Entry 1:

Did I get kidnapped by GLaDOS again? I’m back into a stupid white room with nothing in it.

I’m going to run around a bit and see if I can find a cube or something again. It worked last time. If I do, I know enough about the last situation to know I should probably set that thing on fire before developing a romantic relationship with it again. Then our sex would be on fire. Excuse me while I go slap myself for that.

Freeman Entry 1:

So I’ve been assigned to look after an inmate at the Asylum. This isn’t my forte, admittedly, but seeing as I was asked for personally (well, I was the only person on the list asked for who’s still alive), I thought I’d take some time out of putting a dent into the Combine by crowbarring open someone’s mind and fixing them.

That joke is precisely why I’m not very talkative.

I found the subject running about a room screaming something about cubes and a poor rendition of a Kings of Leon song.

Instantly requested a transfer back to Black Mesa.

Freeman Entry 2:

Turns out that transfer will take longer than I thought. I attempted to walk into the room where the patient was, and was instantly subjected to a barrage of annoying and intimate questions. Preferred to stay silent and leave soon after he started asking me if I ever used the gravity gun to divert all the weight to my junk to make it look bigger.

Clearly, this is going to take a lot longer than I thought to bring this guy back to normalcy.

I’m taking the rest of the afternoon off. To… test something…

Edward Entry 3:

So Gordon Freeman is about. He finally got all my fan mail, and must have come in to thank me for all the suggestions I offered for Episode 3. Like maybe releasing the damn thing, eventually. However, he might have been a bit bewildered by my suggestion of replacing me with Alyx and giving me another Gravity Gun and then we can call ourselves the Gravity Guys and wearing superhero costumes. He remained silent, then walked off when I suggested using the Gravity Gun to shift all the bulk to his junk to impress Alyx. Man just doesn’t recognise an obvious joke when he sees one.

Note to self: Work out theme tune and costumes for when me and Gordon sweep the nation as the Gravity Guys.

Freeman Entry 4:

Patient clearly suffers from self delusion, egocentrism, and the odd ability to get himself into seemingly ridiculous situations for the sake of what he refers to as ‘gaymes jarnalisssam’. His incarceration here seems to only exacerbate this, rather than cure anything.

Freeman Entry 6:

Had to bring in the big guns to sort the patient out. Sadly, most other people were unavailable, and I was only able to get in Dr Mario.

After brief discussion, Dr Mario went inside and forced an unrealistic amount of pills down the patient’s throat. He rationalised this as “Hey-a, that’ll sort itself out eventually-a.”

Upon request to check his credentials, he ran off and escaped down the nearest toilet pipe.

Joke’s on him, I forgot to flush.

Freeman Entry 14:

Why did I sign up for this? I’m a goddamn theoretical physicist. Yet I’ve had to put up with a clearly delusional idiot, a moustached Italian posing as a doctor, and enough stress to make me consider fighting the Combine to be a relaxing vacation. I hate this. This is the most stupid thing ever. When I get back to Black Mesa, I’m going to theorise some physics so hard it’ll make their heads spin.

Penultimate Freeman Entry:

The patient got away. According to the security cameras, the G-Man seems to have let him out, and took him into the experiments room. I’m kind of wondering how or why we even have one in the the Gamesville Penitentary for the Gamingly Insane (for Gamers), or even how this guys seems to escape these things or get into these situations in the first place. Still, it looks like…

Uh oh.

No, don’t tell him to push that in there!

Oh God, he’s causing a resonance cascade! Not this again! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

Final Entry:

Have locked myself in the patient’s original room. I only have my trusted crowbar with me, and I’m just preparing to kick these alien’s butts again. I can’t believe he managed to just completely teleport out of here. He must have been in a hurry, because he left most of his stuff behind. A lot of it’s incredibly disturbing and unintelligable (that must be the effects of those pills he was swallowed all at once. That must have been one hell of a drug trip). However, I will endeavour to bring the entries that make sense or provide insight to put in the permanent files in case he’s recommitted.

I’ll leave you with this final note, which was actually addressed to me:

To Gordon:

Hey, I know I haven’t been the best patient, but you have to realise I’ve been in a lot of weird situations previously. I was locked up by a goddamn computer and forced to have relations with a cube for cake, and wasn’t even compensated for my trouble. Then I tried to valiantly save my friend Bill from infected people, before being totally betrayed by my friends and put in this stupid place despite totally saving them all and not trying to sacrifice them to the infected. Except Bill. Who died. Not my fault. Also, I may have stolen money from your wallet when you weren’t looking, and I stole your spare gravity gun. I’m off to go get back to PlusXP, but I might go on a bit of an adventure and make them totally jealous of me. However, despite what they tell you, I’m so totally still hired there. I’ll keep in touch, Gordon. We may not be superheroes now, but when this is all over, we can be best buddies again.

Gravity Guys forever.

Ed.

P.S: Hurry up with Episode 3, will you?

Gravity Guys forever, man. Gravity Guys forever.

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On May - 20 - 2010

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