Plus XP

The Next Level In Gaming

So it comes to pass that Christmastime is once again upon us, and despite begs and pleas to the contrary (including several attempts by paid professionals), I have for you a Christmas Special of PlusXP’s Inside Look! For you all, I have recordings of the events in which the PlusXP crew joined together for Christmas merriment. However, seeing as I was forced to destroy the video and audio evidence (as neither exist), what you have is a transcription of what happened, so you’re going to have to read this and imagine it all happening in your head. Sorry about that.
So sit back, prepare with whatever it is you do at Christmas, and enjoy!

[Scene: Christmas at the PlusXP Headquarters. What do you mean you don’t know what that looks like? Uh, imagine something really cool, with a load of gaming stuff scattered everywhere and a Monkey Butler. There isn’t one, but its your imagination, go wild. Or a Tardis.]
Garvaos: Alright everyone, thanks for coming to the PlusXP Christmas get-together! Nice to see everyone’s here, and-
Beanie: Well actually-
Garvaos: Everyone. Is. Here.
Beanie: Yeesh. Fine, as long as I’m the only Ed here it makes things a lot less confusing anyway.
Leon: Trust me, it’s a lot better. Don’t you remember what he did last time?
Garvaos: Which last time?
Guitargirl: Let’s… Let’s just leave it guys. Let’s just celebrate Christmas, yeah?
[There is a loud bang]
Beanie: What was that?
Jokesound: Knock knock!
Garvaos: WTF, someone get me the banhammer.
Guitargirl: You don’t have the banhammer anymore. Remember what happened?
Garvaos: Oh right, the orphans.
Beanie: What’s happening?
Leon: You don’t even want to know.
[Jokesound appears dressed as Santa]
Jokesound: Yo ho ho!
Garvaos: Smegsticks. How did you get here? I boarded all the windows after last time…
Jokesound: I came in through the chimney. [He Shrugs]
Garvaos: We have a chimney?
Jokesound: Either way, you’re gonna want to fix it before it rains again.
Guitargirl: Do you remember what we said about this last time?
Jokesound: That I’m awesome and I should do this as much as possible because I’m so hilarious, kooky yet ultimately loveable?
Guitargirl: Not even close.
Leon: How did you even know we were having a Christmas party?
Jokesound: You’re having a Christmas party? Sweet!
Leon: Wait, you didn’t know we were doing this, then why are you here?
[Jokesound shrugs]
Beanie: Wait a second…
[He rolls some dice]
Beanie: It’s good to meet you!
Leon: What the hell, dude? Don’t you remember what he did to you?
Beanie: Sorry, the dice made me do it.
Jokesound: Great, we’re in agreement, I’m awesome and we’re going to rock Christmas!
Garvaos: Shut up, Ed…
Beanie/Jokesound: What?
Garvaos: Not, you, him.
Beanie/Jokesound: Oh, right.
Guitargirl: Alright, alright. I guess he can stay… But only if he’s good.
Jokesound: What are you talking about? I’m nothing but impeccable!
[There is a short, awkward pause]
Jokesound: I bought presents?
[Another short pause]
Everyone Else: Okay, I guess you can stay.
Jokesound: Heck yeah.
Garvaos: Alright, we might as well get to the presents part, that alright with everyone?
Leon/Guitargirl/Jokesound: Yay!
[Short pause as Beanie rolls a dice]
Beanie: Yay!
Jokesound: I’ll go first!
[He gets a few presents out]
Jokesound: These presents are going to rock so hard the impact of it will give the other presents concussion.
Garvaos: You got me a new Banhammer?
Jokesound: Shh shh shh…
[He moves his index finger towards Garvaos’ face to quiet him]
Jokesound: Wait and see… Also, I really didn’t to say anything, but your hair is kind of getting in my face…
[Everyone else, sans Garvaos all sheepishly mumble in agreement]
Garvaos: Whoops, sorry guys.
Everyone Else: It’s alright.
Garvaos: Price of fashion, you know?
Jokesound: Shut up, Ed.
Garvaos: I’m not Ed, you are.
Jokesound/Beanie: Oh yeah…
Guitargirl: At the risk of putting this back on topic…
Leon: Yeah, I want my presents! Presents presents presents!
Jokesound: Okay, you get yours first. Now, I know you really want Marvel vs Capcom 3 and the address of the new makers of Devil May Cry, so I got you…
Leon: A print collection of everything you’ve written for the site since you started.
Jokesound: Signed!
[Leon sighs]
Jokesound: So he likes it, who is next?
[Beanie rolls dice]
Beanie: Garvaos!
Jokesound: Shut up, me.
Garvaos: Okay, what’d you get me?
Jokesound: Well, I know after I went into that orphanage wearing a wig and screaming ‘Ban!’ you’ve since had your banhammer banned. Ban ban.
Garvaos: You got me a new one and an apology?
Jokesound: Better!
Garvaos: A signed copy of everything you’ve written for the site since you started.
Jokesound: That’s not all! I bought mistletoe as well!
Garvaos: You got me a toe that fires missiles?
Jokesound: I haven’t yet mastered that technology. I meant the other one.
Garvaos: Why?
Jokesound: Well I had to bring something in to brighten up the decorations! Anyway, Beanie, Guitargirl, I know how you like things and stuff, so I got you…
Guitargirl/Beanie: The same as everyone else.
Jokesound: Hey, this stuff is going to be a collector’s item eventually!
Garvaos: Okay, I’ve had enough of this. Get out. Everyone else agree?
Leon/Guitargirl: Yay!
[Beanie rolls dice]
Beanie: Well, actually…
Garvaos: It’s decided! Get out.
Jokesound: You can’t do this to me, not after all I’ve done for you!
Garvaos: Like what?
Jokesound: Can I get back to you on that?
Garvaos: Now, you have two choices. You can get out the peaceful way, or the violent way.
Jokesound: Ed, what should I go with?
[Beanie rolls dice]
Beanie: Violent.
Jokesound: Thanks, overplayed comic device! However, you can’t get me out the violent way, not without your precious banhammer! Mwahahaahaa!
Guitargirl: Actually Garvaos, we kind of banded together to get you a present…
[Garvaos is handed a Gravity Hammer]
Garvaos: You guys are awesome. Group hug!
[They go in for a group hug]
Garvaos: Not you, Ed.
Beanie/Jokesound: Dammit!
Garvaos: Now, get out of here before I make you.
Jokesound: You can’t do that…
Garvaos: Oh, why not?
[Jokesound holds a hand up high]
Jokesound: Mistletoe!
[There is a long, awkward pause before slow motion kicks in, ‘Ban!’ is yelled, and Garvaos swings his banhammer]

Merry Christmas, everyone! Thank you for reading PlusXP and supporting us throughout the last year!

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Jokesound On December - 23 - 2010

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