Through the ages there have been some epic battles in the gaming universe. Hero’s and villains have been at each others throats since the dawn of time and there have been some truly epic battles. Link vs Ganondorf, Sonic Vs Robotnic, Scott Pilgrim Vs The World, the list goes on.

Ever since we have known each other there has been another epic battle going. Garvaos Vs Random Man. Ok so this battle hasn’t been written into some sacred gaming code but it has been going on for the best part of 10 months or so now. We thought it would be best to settle this like true gaming journalists would and draft up five warriors from the gaming universe that would fight in each of our corners. I will draft the Hero’s for this epic battle, but will Random Man’s villainous horde vanquish me and take over the world? Lets find out!

Coal MacGrath (inFamouse)

Imagin you have just woken up, you are in the centre of what appears to be that aftermath of a massive explosion that has engulfed half the city that you live in. Upon awakening you find out you have the power to control electricity will you use your powers for good or evil?

Meet Coal MacGrath, he knows exactly how a crazy scenario such as this feels like, even though he has the potential to take over the world with his electric power he instead uses it for good. This is why I think coal would be an awesome addition to my team because he can manipulate his powers for the greater good, and yet if he needs to use his powers to take down several bad guys then he can with a great amount of ease.

Master Chief (Halo)

Nothing says ‘I’m going to save the world’ like a genetically modified super soldier that is named after a Greek warrior. Of course I am talking about everyone’s favourite UNSC Spartan John 117, aka Master Chief. Being the last of his kind must take its toll on a usual human being but not Master Chief.

His mind is always on the mission, he is skilled and someone that is defiantly necessary in the heat of battle. I mean who wouldn’t want a big metal man who can single handily take out a zombie race?

Zack Fair (Final Fantasy VII)

Zack is in here for two reasons. The first of which, Random Man would not have forgiven me if he wasn’t. The second and most important is that Zack is a noble soldier who never leaves anyone behind. He also inspires the most feeble of people to get up and kick the crap into something. I mean if cloud hadn’t met Zack he would have still be a measly little foot soldier.

Lets face it, who wouldn’t want a guy wielding a big ass sword in their team?

Jack (Bioshock)

Picture this. You’re in a plane crash with no idea who you are. Then suddenly BOOM! you’re in an underwater city welding all sorts of powers which you just feel like obtaining after injecting yourself with some neon glowing liquid. You slowly find out your mind is under control and then manage to over throw your puppeteer and vanquish his evil dastardly plan. This is all happening while people are going mad around you in an under water city.

Who wouldn’t want a guy who can take down a huge hulking metal robot like creature and also find time to save innocent children?

Dante (Devil May Cry)

Some may say that Dante is a little bit cliché, some may say he loves himself a little bit too much and that his ego could be taken down a couple of thousand notches. But to be honest wouldn’t you think your awesome if you have the sword wielding capabilities and gun skill of the part demon that is Dante?

So he may have some cheesy lines, but with an arsenal of weapons that could probably take down a small nation he’s a very good asset to any team. I mean hey, someone has to say the cheesy lines just before we overthrow the arch-villain.

- Garv

For every hero there must be a villain. That is a simple gaming fact and is also a film fact too. Over the years games have been turning more and more into films of their own. .

In games the villain has so much more to offer, this is due to game creators having to find a strong reason for the hero to defeat the villain. In the case of some games just beating them up is enough there is still that feel they would destroy the world if you didn’t beat them.

So without a villain the hero has nothing really worth fighting for and it kind of makes for a pointless game. After thinking about this for a very long time, I was able to come up of a list of 5 of my favourite villains. They are a shining example of what a villain should have, they should be evil, cruel, amazing fighters (or in some cases annoyingly difficult to beat) and the most important one of all they need to be a serious badass.

Kane (Soul Reaver)

He is a forgotten villain and he is still one of the most memorable. He has the desire to destroy the living world so that he may consume their souls to rule and rise again. He is evil to no end and is someone I would not like to fight.

The Goddess Myria (Breath of Fire III)

Breath of Fire III was the first game I ever completed of its kind (Epic RPG) and because of this, the Goddess Myria has stayed one of my favourite villains. Myria is more of a psycho than a villain as she believes that it’s all in the name if good. She is defiantly worthy of being in my top 5 for just being psychotic.

Mundus (Devil May Cry)

Mundas is the all-powerful and the most evil demon in hell, he is the devil. He has power over anyone consumed in darkness, added with his own incredible power; Mundas is a force to be reckoned with.

Albert Wesker (Resident Evil)

He is genetically modified and completely insane. Wesker is fast, smart and has a t-virus infected army of people at his control. Wesker is a complete badass and he shows no mercy to anyone, not even his own people.

Sephiroth (Final Fantasy VII)

With his sword Musamune, Sephiroth is the most powerful SOLDIER 1^ST CLASS to ever exist. With an absolutely brilliant mind and a swordsman of unparalleled skill, Sephiroth is and always will be the most dangerous villain in the Final Fantasy series. So he deserves to be my number one villain of all time.

I hoped you liked my list; it took me a very long time to decide on it.

-Random Man

Until next time,

24

x

P.S. ‘Fan’ is not a typo, I did not mean ‘Fans’. Only one person asked me why the next episode was late and I have used this to work out my average number of viewers. I know who you are fan! Thanks for watching

My first taste of Halo came about when I was round my mates house playing multiplayer split screen. We were playing split screen death match and we chose a nice little level known as Blood Gulch. This was a very simple map that had a base on either side of the map, and a huge wide expanse of land in between. The perfect setting for pretty much any team based game variant. It was also perfect for vehicle battles and anything you can think of. The most simple of maps but the most used throughout Halo: Combat Evolved

Blood Gulch - The First Incarnation

I fell in love with Blood Gulch so much that when I got my own X Brick I organised lan parties (Before the days of Xbox Live) and we would spend hours play CTF battles, team death matches, death matches, pretty much and Halo game variant under the sun on Blood Gulch. Non of the other maps compared to this one, except maybe side winder, but that’s for a different post.

Of course as Halo got older there was always going to be a sequel. So Halo 2 came around, and I was ready to leave Blood Gulch behind and find a new terrain to rain death in. But lo and behold, Bungie had put the next incarnation of Blood Gulch into Halo 2. And I was more than happy to start reigning havoc on this level. Now dubbed Coagulation, not much had changed, save for the bases now have 2 levels and the addition of Banshees to the level. But it was still the same Blood Gulch I came to love in the first game.

The Second Incarnation - Coagulation

Ok so there were a couple of more rocks and the bases probably were a tiny bit closer together, but it was still the same map I loved, and I couldn’t get enough of it.

Now this is where Halo 3 disappointed me. I was egerly waiting for the 3rd incarnation of Blood Gulch. But there was nothing. I wasn’t giving up hope, I was going to wait for the DLC and hope that Bungie would bring back a new Halo 3 version of the map to us. But sadly, there was nothing. The closest thing I had in Halo 3 was Valhalla, and to me that map was nothing compared to Blood Gulch, even though it was very good, I still didn’t have the same nostalgia fix than I did with Coagulation.

The other base is on the other side of the map behind the camera by the way

So, eventually I just accepted the fact Blood Gulch had been dead and berried. Valhalla was the new incarnantion and the grandfather of all awesome Halo had been laid to rest. So I carried on my happy way play Big Team slayer and CTF on Valhalla, every now and again wishing it was Blood Gulch. I know it is very Fan Boyish but I really did love that map.

Then Halo Wars came along. An RTS game that was based before the Halo First Person Shooter saga. It was a very good RTS game and I really did enjoy play skirmish mode more than I did the campaign, but never the less it was fun. Now when I first booted up a skirmish game I had to take a double take. The creators had done themselves justice by making a Blood Gulch in RTS form. A huge grin spread across my face and I jumped straight in. It was very loyal to the original FPS map from Halo combat evolved and sure enough that was my favorite map for skirmish mode. It really translated well into the RTS form and I would play that map for hours.

The Halo Wars Incarnation

By now you are probably thinking, either ‘Why is he going on about a pretty much dead and berried Map from the first halo game?’ or ‘Hmm this is probably leading to something about Halo Reach. If you are thinking the latter you would be very correct (because the title of the post probably gave it away at the start.) Blood Gulch is back in Halo Reach! Bigger, Better and Greener than it ever has been, and It is looking awesome. Red Vs Blue did a nice trailer for the new map, with a couple more announcements about a new armour ability and a new warthog. So without Further adoo I present The Blood Gulch Resurrection!

As you can see this is shaping up to be one hell of a game. and I for one am hugely excited about Halo Reach. More announcements as I get them.

Garv

Bungie’s community manager Eric “urk” Osborne wrote on Bungie.net;

“As we prepare to become fans of the universe our studio began creating more than ten years ago, it’s nice to know that we’ll be counted among such esteemed company.

“Some might consider the upcoming transition a bittersweet occasion punctuated by a sense of loss and sadness. We feel otherwise. Halo is in great hands… yours.

“Halo is yours now. In many ways, it always has been. Its new caretakers will strive, just as we did, to be worthy stewards but you have the package. Hold these characters and stories and worlds to the same unflinching standards you did while we were at the helm, but allow them all to blossom and change and grow in the ways that they must.”

These were just some of the emotional words that were posted on Bungie.net as the studio bid their final farewell to the FPS franchise they created.

Bungie celebrated their 20th anniversary last week and believe it or not it was 10 years ago we first saw Halo: Combat Evolved grace our original Xbox consoles. Today Bungie officially stated that the future of Halo has now been passed to the internal Microsoft development company 343 industries, who are now developing Halo 4 and Halo: Combat Evolved anniversary.

With Halo: Combat Evolved celebrating its 10^th anniversary this year, 343 could not have picked a better project to kick start their new affiliation with the Halo franchise. Not only are they revamping the original FPS classic but they are, in a way, starting where Bungie began 10 years ago, with the first ever Halo game to be released. I think this is a clever move and even though a part of me is going to miss Bungie being a part of the Halo franchise I welcome 343 with open arms.

So what’s in store for Bungie next? Well they are now working on a project with Activision, but that is all we know thus far.

Bungie have not fully abandoned ship just yet Halo playlist management will be changing hands on August 2^nd. The same day they will be giving us their parting thoughts of the last 20 years through a vid doc called: ‘O Brave New Worlds’.

So this is the last curtain call for the partnership that is Halo and Bungie. I’m looking forward to what the studio will produce in the future.

Garv

Back in September 2007 avid Halo fans saw what they thought was the last outing for Master Chief. He had saved the universe from total destruction and the people of earth thought he had been killed in the process. In the last moments of Halo 3 however we saw Master Chief entering Cryonic Sleep, telling Cortana to “Wake me up, when you need me.” If Halo players were lucky enough to complete the campaign in Legendary difficulty, the scene would continue and show Master Chief’s escape pod drifting towards a strange planet, giving the Halo trilogy a nice cliff hanger ending which opened doors for a new Halo story ark.

Since then we have had two other Halo games that added to the original trilogy, Halo 3: ODST which saw the Halo world through the eyes of a Squad of Orbital Drop Shock Troopers (Or ODST) and Halo: Reach a prequel to the original trilogy which in my opinion was the most in depth game of the Halo Series.

So with ODST and Reach being released since 2007 we thought we might have seen the last of Master Chief, especially as Bungie, the creative team behind Halo left the franchise for good after Reach. Surprisingly E3 this year saw 343 industries, the new minds behind the Halo franchise and it’s future, take the stage and announced Halo 4. A continuation from the original Halo trilogy which will give us an insight into what the future may hold for both Cortana and Master Chief.

Nobel 6 in Halo Reach

So what do we know about the game thus far? Well to tell you the truth not that much, but what has been announced already is sure to whet the appetites of any avid Halo fan. Halo 4 will be the beginning of a brand new story ark, 343 industries have announced that the game will in fact be the first of another trilogy staring everyone’s favourite Spartan. Also there will be changes to Master Chief aesthetically as well as mentally. You may have seen in the debut trailer shown at E3 that there have been changes made to Master Chief’s armour, only minor changes as he has been in Cryo-sleep for god knows how long (which also begs the question how did his armour change in the first place) but its obvious that 343 have some big plans for Master Chief’s future.

Another thing to note is the link from the ending of Halo 3. Remember chief’s escape pod was floating towards an ominous planet? Speculation floating around the gaming community suggests the planet maybe of forerunner origin. The forunners being the original creators of the Halo rings, which were designed to obliterate the alien zombie race known as the flood. If this is true we could be in for some epic game play and what I can only imagine will involve some fantastic battles and a great insight into the origins of the Halo rings. But that’s only one theory.

Sadly, we are all going to have to wait until Christmas 2012 before we can get our hands on the next Halo instalment. Until then we should sit back and relax whist we play Halo: Combat Evolved anniversary edition which is coming out this November.

For more Halo 4 news, stay tuned to Plus XP.

Garv

Step 1 – Arm yourself

If Fallout and Left 4 Dead 2 are anything to go by, pretty much anything can be used as a weapon. Whether it’s a magnum you have managed to stash away somewhere on your person, or a frying pan you have found just lying about, anything can be used to beat down the dangers that lurk on the Earth’s surface. Also, if games are anything to go by, you can hold a lot of weapons at any given time. According to DOOM II you can stash up to nine weapons on your person at once. Or, if you really wanna analyse your games for the Earth’s inevitable doom, play some GTA IV and see what clothes Niko Bellic is wearing – because you can stash a whole array of weapons from pistols and sawn-off shot guns, to full-blown rocket launchers and sniper rifles… handy! Which brings us to step 2.

Step 2 – Finding the right attire

As I said in step one, a good route to go here is the GTAIV route because, lets face it; it has magic pockets to store your whole armory in. But defending yourself is also key to survival, and a good armored suit is the way to go in most cases. Unless you are Duke Nukem of course, then you can just wear a tank top and watch the bullets bounce of your huge pectorals.

Taking a look at Halo, Quake 4, Aliens Vs Predator and Doom, I think they are onto something here. Green and brown are this season’s Apocalypse colours, and are definitely good for camouflage whatever terrain you are in. and make sure it is well armored.

But then there are probably those of you out there who didn’t pack an Apocalypse bag before the earth was destroyed. So my advice to you (well more Fallout’s advice to you) is to grab anything you can and wear it, regardless if it’s a silly sack on your head or huge armour that probably weighs about a ton.

Step 3 – Finding shelter

You need somewhere safe to stay when any sort of Apocalypse strikes. In the case of zombies, if you manage to find a huge door that bolts shut then you’re in for a win. These doors can be found on any building – whether it is a block of flats, a country house or indeed an old wooden shack you will be just fine, once said door is bolted shut there will be a plethora of supplies and weapons for you.

In case of Nuclear Apocalypse however, it gets a bit more tricky… mainly because most things have been blown to smithereens. That said, you will find some places that have remarkably stayed in tact, or you can just find a load of corrugated metal and build yourself a quaint little town, just make damn sure there isn’t a nuclear warhead in the middle of it. It could either explode or have crazy people worshipping it.

With an alien invasion however, you’re probably not going to have any shelter at all – you will mainly find yourself running around lots, shooting anything that moves. But having said that, I have heard space stations are a nice destination this time of the year.

Step 4 – Finding Sustenance and/or medical supplies

You want to stay alive, right? Well if games are anything to go by, food and drink will heal your broken bones within seconds. Fallout and Wolfenstein have both proved this theory. Weather it is a hot meal or a nice cool bottle of radiated cola you will feel better, and in no time that bite you got from a crazy dog will heal right up.

In other cases such as Left 4 Dead, you have to scout around for medi-packs. These things are stashed with bandages and well… bandages. You will feel right as rain in no time after you apply these magical fabrics. Having said that, if we take a leaf from Halo’s book, then simply stepping on medi-packs will automatically heal you, or if your feeling hardcore like Duke Nukem then simply kick a toilet in and drink the water. You will feel ready to kick some more butt in next to no time.

Step 5 (The Most Important) – DTA

Common practice for a post apocalyptic earth is to DTA - Don’t. Trust. Anybody. Look after number one at all times. Left 4 Dead teaches us that crying humanoid creatures really don’t want our help, they just want to rip our faces off, F.E.A.R. has shown us that small girls can really be mind-controlling, crazy things that can scare the living Jesus out of you and will also rip your face off. Lets face it, everything out there in post apocalyptic earth is just wanting to rip off your face. Dogs, zombies, zombie dogs. It’s pretty dangerous out there.

And that is it, Plus XP’s five step program to surviving doomsday and post apocalyptic earth. If you haven’t gathered by the way, Earth is the number one target for anything, so be warned.

There is one slight problem though…I haven’t played a game that tells me what to do when the ice caps melt… bugger.

- Garv

Halo? Call of Duty? Killzone? Battlefield?

What do all of the above have in common? Well, they’re all amazing online experiences which provide much excitement, along with enough thrills and spills designed to fill any gamer with enough adrenaline to punch a hole through a wall… unsuccessfully. Nevertheless, these games have servers cluttered up with many gamers who’re either capturing a flag, killing opposing members of the other team or blowing up some munitions in a green box that serve no relevance to anything. I am one of these people and very proud of it; I could write a dissertation about the joys of online gaming, but I won’t. Instead, I’ll question why we game online and what it does to us.

Call of Duty hit the mainstream with its vision of customizable classes and frantic game modes. along with the RPG-like ranking system that anyone could pick up and play. The ideas that helped make the multiplayer so addicted are now being adopted by most FPS games and can now be considered the standard method of progression. As I chase shadows in my mind, I can’t quite understand why a simple insignia displaying a picture of no true meaning can warrant such true value in the online world. COD has multiple insignia’s, Battlefield likewise, and somehow most of us have the desire to achieve a new little symbol to represent our commitment to that particular game. In some ways it’s quite noble, but is it actually honest?

Your passion is fuelled by primarily wanting to show others how you enjoy your hobby; alternatively people level up and earn their insignia to show they’re the more dominant and committed foe. It probably doesn’t occur to you, but when someone else puts it into perspective you may have to question your own motives for doing this. I myself like to receive recognition for my dedication of time, and when I reached Level 55 on my final prestige of COD4 I was conflicted: I was joyous that I had joined an exclusive club of people to have achieved this, but I was simultaneously saddened by the fact I could achieve no more.

Emotion is undeniably powerful in whatever form it takes, especially when playing an online game. Curiosity makes you venture into a new game mode or use a new gun, confusion makes you wonder how someone has picked up that energy sword before you did, happiness fills you when you’ve unlocked the scout class, and anger is being killed when you believe you shouldn’t have been. Unquestionably, the two strongest emotions are happiness and anger as far as gaming’s concerned, due to the fact there are so many possibilities to cause them.

OWNAGE!

I think only a true gamer suffers these two emotions on a regular basis and I think it is certainly healthy. Take this example: you’re having a great game of Unreal Tournament and you’re currently ‘UNSTOPPABLE!’ after killing twenty people in a row. You’ve picked off another four unwitting foes and you’re roaring with confidence because of the wreckage you’re leaving in your path. You turn a corner readying yourself to obliterate someone else, get twenty-five kills in a row and become branded ‘GODLIKE!’ and-
Whoops! Sorry! Connection lost!
Through no fault of your own and without warning, that display of skill has just been erased. From impending kill number twenty-five right through to the connection being lost, our emotion changes from delight to a searing fit of rage and panic in the blink of an eye. You’re angry because you’ve been disconnected, but you’re also panicking because you’re not sure what to do now; do you start a new game and hope for another powerhouse display, or do you turn it off altogether? Lag can cause a death which the instant replay will show you didn’t stand a chance of surviving because your opponent has a superior connection, and in many cases make you either mentally or physically scream at the TV or down your headset and microphone to unleash your fury.

One Kill Off Godlike...NOOOOOOO!

Again, I ask myself why do I and so many others do this? You’ve lost your kill-streak and you’re forced to wait for your digital John McClane to re-spawn back into the furious action, but in hindsight, should this unfortunate death discourage you? The answer is a categorical no. You’ve not lost through your lack of ability, so there’s no reason to give up. By showing emotion you prove that you’re not only a partial psychopath, but also that you care enough about the game to show this kind of emotion; if you didn’t care, why would it bother you?

To round off my psychological dive into gamers’ thoughts, I’d like to ECHO NOVEMBER DELTA (end) with some terminology. A small part of society have accepted the word “Noob” as being a word, but most of the population will probably have their own wild view of what that word actually means. If I said to Barack Obama “Dude some hacker just spawn fragged me because he was camping whilst glitching the map” I don’t think I’d be having a LAN game of Counter-Strike with him any time soon. Aside from the fact he probably has no idea what Counter-Strike is, we gamers have a language exclusive to us which feels more natural. The words not only have meaning to us but we quickly pick up unfamiliar words which soon become second nature. I often wonder what it takes to break through that barrier from the words sounding like nerdy slang to appropriate terms of truth.

I’ll leave you with these thoughts and simply say this:
If you’re an online FPS gamer, do you now question your online mentality? Do you differentiate yourself from the people who don’t play games?

-Andrew Highton

A New Year means a new start, and ever since the Inside Look studio had been overrun by a zombie horde (after Jokesound’s interview with Bill from Left 4 Dead) the studio had been undergoing a refurbishment of sorts. Basically, a big clean up and getting chunks of zombie out of the air conditioning system.

Finally, the Studio was clean enough to start the Inside Look once more and I was on my way. I had been planning the Rebirth of Inside Look for a while; I had been exchanging lots e-mails to get this one guest, and finally I managed to get him down to the studio. I was very excited and I wanted the whole Plus XP team there to witness the revival of something quite beautiful.

Inside Look was back, and I managed to score an interview with Master Chief.

I walked up to the studio door trying to contain my excitement. I opened the door and was greeted by Leon, and only Leon.

“Hey man.” I smiled “Where’s everyone else?”

A look of disappointment ran across Leon’s face.

“Don’t get mad, But no one else is here.”

“What? Why?”

“Well GuitarGirl ‘s off playing the Rock Band show of her life, Beanie rolled a D-10 on the way here and can’t get past the hobo blocking his way, and Jokesound….”

Leon Paused.

“What’s he done now?” I sighed.

“Umm… he is here, but he took Cortana into that broom cupboard over there…” Leon pointed to a cupboard in the backstage area.

I stared vacant for a second, then a confused and disturbed look spread across my face.

“He… he does realise she is an AI, right? I mean….how does he…..? Never mind! Is the MC here?”

“He is, but he demanded that he had some changes made to the set, before I could say anything a load of UNSC work men hit the studio.

“What? Why?”

I pushed past Leon and ran to the set, my mind racing, wondering what the hell was going on. I then walked on set to find a studio kitchen. A UNSC camera man beamed as soon as I walked on set, I was then pushed to centre stage.

“And we are rolling!” the camera man shouted. Then Master Chief emerged from behind the kitchen counter with a large chefs hat  and an apron with the slogan ‘Frag The Chef’ on over his Spartan mark V armour. He then turned his head to look at me.

“Umm, errr…” I stuttered,  I then composed myself.

“Welcome to Plus XP’s Inside Look, and today I am joined by John 117, aka Master Chief, on what seems to be a new look studio. Welcome Chief!”

“Thank you for having me, Before I start I must stress the fact that I don’t reply to Master Chief any more. I am now known as Master Chef! The intergalactic Gourmet King!”

“Ummmmm…..”

“Before I begin, I would like to thank you for inviting me to your studio, Today I will be creating some of the most intergalactic delicacies from Reach and far distant covenant planets.”

“I never realised you were a Chef, Chief.”

“Not much is known about me to be honest, anyway on with the cookery!”
Master Chef then walked up to the fridge behind him, opened it and then grabbed a punnet of blueberries.

“I used to make these for the UNSC troops back when we were taking down the Halo rings, a very simple recipe that takes only five to ten minutes.”
He took the blueberries and then tipped them onto the work surface, he then disappeared behind the kitchen counter and then emerged with a cauldron of neon green liquid. He then grabbed a syringe from his back pocket.

“Your armour has pockets?”

“Of course! Where else do you think I put my bubble shields, my grenades, my ammo, my halo ring snow globes and everything else when I save the world?!”
He then dipped the syringe into the green liquid and sucked some of it up.

“Now for those of you watching at home, I am now taking the weapons grade plutonium and injecting it into these Blueberries. “

“Why are you doing that, Chef?”

“All will become clear, soon. After injecting place in the fridge for 10 minutes to cool.”
Master Chef then walked up to the fridge placed his blue berries in there and took out another punnet, he then walked back to the counter and tipped the punnet out.

“Here is what I made earlier, and as you can see we now have some fully functional Plasma Grenades. Note that you must use extremely ripe blue berries for the perfect amount of stickiness when using them.”

“I had no idea, and there was me thinking they were a covenant creation.”

“Nope UNSC speciality, it’s just the covenant have riper blue berries.”

“I see.”

“Next I will show you how to make Needler ammo. First get a fresh porcupine. Now, the porcupines we need are very special, as they can be only found rummaging round in the bins of cocktail clubs.”

“Sorry?”

Master Chef then brought out a porcupine with needles were fluorescent pink in colour.
“How the heck did its needles get so pink!?” I exclaimed.

“They’re fed on a healthy diet of cocktails and alco-pops. Also, it has been subjected to long stints of 80’s disco cheese.”

“…..Right”

“So what you do is pluck the needles from the porcupine as he is still alive… It’s ok, he wont feel it… 90 percent of the time they have the appropriate Bee Gees song stuck in their small brain… and then we throw the needles into the Plutonium and leave to simmer on a high heat for 20 to 30 minutes.”

“Again, why do the covenant use these not the UNSC?”

“Covenant have better parties and cocktails. Next I will show….”
Master Chef was cut off mid-sentence by Jokesound, whom at that moment decided to run across the studio floor in nothing but his boxers with his trousers round his ankles shouting.
“THEY ARE HERE! OH GOD THEY ARE HERE!!!!! Also, high-five, anyone?”

My hand smacked my forehead. “Sorry Master Chef, he is always….”
I was interrupted by a beam of green plasma that shot from one side of the studio to the other. Then a Hunter growled and barged its way through the set door.

Master Chef slammed his hands on the counter in anger, he then turned his head towards the hunter. Slowly ripping his hat off his head, then he marched to the oven behind him, ripping open the door and dragging out a freshly cooked roast turkey. He slammed it down on the counter, put his hand up it and then pulled out an energy sword handle. With a flick of his wrist the energy sword sprang to life.

Leon, GuitarGirl, and Beanie ran onto the set. Leon was armed with a gunblade, and GuitarGirl was armed with an axe shaped guitar. Beanie then decided to roll some dice on the counter. A sad look came across his face, and he then got a wooden spoon from the  kitchen drawer.

Jokesound came running in with 2 gravity hammers; one engraved with ‘Ban!’ and the other ‘Reinstate!’. He then passed me my trusted ban-hammer.
“Where did you get that from?”

“Oh, so they can have gunblades and axe-guitars and you raise an eyebrow at me having this? Not cool, man.”

“It’s more… The Hammer’s kind of my thing, you know? Where did you get yours from, anyway?”

“Let’s just say she didn’t say no to me entering her Halo! Hell yeah! High five!”
Jokesound waited for a high-five that never came.

“Fine then, another time! We need to reinstate these people!”

“You mean… Ban!”

“…Rebanstate?”

“You do realise you can’t keep that reinstate-hammer, right?”
Jokesound pouted and started whimpering like a lost puppy.

“……Jokesound.”
He then started waving his hand like a Puppy asking for food.

“We’ll talk about this later…” I sighed.
Then more covenant forces starting swarming the studio.

“Uh, Rob? I kind of didn’t use anything with her… Will I be alright?”

“Oh, Ed. You have so much to learn. If we get out of this alive, I’ll get the diagrams out again.”
Of course, while the constant mental battle with him was far from over, a newer, more imminent battle was just approaching.

“The studio was just refurbished too…”

When it comes down to it there is always one genre I swear by when gaming wise. That genre is the first person shooter! Some people like myself adore them and cannot get enough, others either can’t get on with them or think strange things like, shooting games require no skill and blah blah blah, eventually remarks like that sound like white noise to me.

My love for the genre started back around 1994. I would have been about 6 years old. Yeah at the age of 6 I was murdering Nazi’s and zombie’s a plenty! What game am I talking about? Wolfenstein 3D of course.

This game was created by, who I love to call, the gods of FPS gaming, Id, they created a game which by today’s standards is very simple. Point, shoot and walk along.

As well as killing you could collect treasure and watch your score go up. Wolfenstein was an innovation in gaming because it was the first game from a first person perspective. But, let’s be honest here, the sound effects are still to this day truly amazing. Just the sound of ‘Guten Tag!’ coming from the mouth of a huge blond German guy with two machine guns who goes by the name of Hanns still cracks me up. Did I also mention Robot Hitler? This game still is awesome!

Then things for the FPS genre evolved slightly. With id spewing out another FPS gem called Doom! Now Doom for me is the FPS that brings back the most memories. To be honest my Dad kicks butt on it and has done for lord knows how long. I used to spend days trying to kill him over a LAN game but still to this day it can’t be done really!

Anyway Doom is where Id took it all to the next level with more guns, better sounds and of course the all important enemies! Doom offered us the knuckle dusters, chainsaw, pistol, shotgun, machine gun, rocket launcher and BFG. Doom 2 offered us all those with the addition of the double barrel shotgun. But the big change was the amount of enemies and variety of them. I mean who would blame id, they had hell demons from Mars to muck around with, and what they came out with was awesome. The story line was pretty engrossing too, but the beauty of the game still lies in the simple point, shoot run away design.

Then there was a couple of years of me playing Doom 2. Until I came across something which was new, grimy, dirty, had an attitude so awesome you could not help nut smile and at one point had the main character literally ripping a space aliens head of and shitting down its neck.

I’m talking about Duke Nukem 3D. One of the best innovations in FPS gaming. It had a brilliant array of weapons for people to choose from, but not just your bog standard ballistics it also had shrink rays and freeze guns, which, to be honest I had hours of fun with. The squelching noises when you blew up an alien were fantastic and the ridiculousness of some of the ballistic weapons just made you want to cry tears of joy! To this day I still take much pleasure in killing a horde of Pig cops with a akimbo rocket launchers, which also fired like five rockets at a time. OWNAGE!

Duke himself was a great character. I have said this before in a previous article and I will say it again. If a guy has the attitude to say ‘this sucks’, or ‘damn’ after he has been blown to kingdom come he must be cool.

The mixture of enemies such as octo-brains and pig cops just to name a couple was great and the whole concept of aliens stealing women just to piss off a guy like duke, simple but damn effective.

Whilst the craziness of Duke 3D was happening on the side another FPS was grabbing my attention. Earlier I said id were the gods of FPS, so there is no wonder that I would not skimp out on the Quake phenomenon!

I could go on for several centuries talking about Quake but the one that really got me and I still mark as one of the best FPS games is Quake 2. To this day I think the game the graphics, the attention to detail were fantastic for its time and still held the great, kill everything in sight game play which I love. Quake was the next generation from Doom so it still had some of Dooms’ characteristics. It still had the BFG and the double barrel shot-gun, but it brought to the table one of the single best weapons in FPS gaming. The Nail Gun! Shredding enemies apart this was pretty much and unstoppable giant of a weapon. Get in the firing line of this beasty and you would not last three seconds!

After Duke and quake I was at a bit of a loss for new FPS games. I tried Unreal Tournament at my mates house. Blinking awesome game I must say! I ended up owning UT 2004.

But this was kind of the end of my PC FPS gaming, I now turned to consoles and it was my mate over the road who had Halo: Combat Evolved. For me this game had it all, vehicles, good variety of guns. Everything! This is what kicked off indeed my love for Xbox and my love for console FPS games. The whole Halo series I can play time and time again and not tire of it. At the moment this is the pinnacle of the FPS gaming genre to me.

OK, I can hear you now, your screaming at the screen shouting WHAT ABOUT CALL OF DUTY YOU NOOB!!!! or words to that effect. To me Call of Duty is good and I have played it but it’s just the whole war thing that gets to me. Zombies and monsters I can quite happily kill no problem. Zombie Nazi’s on Call Of Duty: World At War. Awesome can do that for hours, but for me I am not too comfortable playing it as it seems to real. For me FPS games have to be unreal and that’s where you get the most wacky and awesome ideas.

Garv!

Final note, Wow I was a pleasant games journalist back then….

I have been playing Reach quite a lot since it’s release back in September, and I can safely say that without a shadow of a doubt that it is the Game Of The Year for me. But there is one element in the campaign mode that everyone is talking about, and that is the space battle sequence. For those of you who have been on a Halo ring in a cave with your fingers in your ears for the past few months, there is a level in Reach where you pilot a space ship called a Saber, (A Saber is basically an intergalactic version of a Jet Fighter equipped with missiles and guns) and you basically get to destroy phantom drop ships and covenant space banshees in order to protect a Reach controlled space station.

The beauty of this level is the fact they had spent ages getting the gameplay just right, it wasn’t an add-on that Bungie thought would be a laugh at the end of game production, it is pretty much a game within game. If I were to give a random gamer a controller, not tell them that it was Halo they were playing and put them on that level, I bet you they wouldn’t think it was a Halo game because it is so well done. The mechanics are perfect and I wish they had put more of it into the game.

The gut wrenching thing is that Bungie were going to put more of the intergalactic space fighting into the game, they were even going to incorporate a multiplayer platform for that game mode. Why oh why didn’t they? Well this is what Marcus Lehto from Bungie told Game Informer:

“We joked about it from time to time and even had a rough version of it working very early on in development, But the mechanics of it were pretty silly and we very quickly realised that the resulting gameplay experience wouldn’t hit the bar we were aiming for, nor justify the amount of work required”.

I can see where he is coming from but still, it would have been nice to see at least a multi-player option. If Reach wasn’t Bungie’s sign off to the Halo franchise I would have been less annoyed, because there may have been a Space Battle game coming to the Halo franchise but seeing as Bungie have pretty much closed the certain on it, I am not holding my breath for one, sure if another developer takes such a project on I don’t think it would be the same.

Basically, Bungie if you can hear me, I would love more space battles please! I know you are still working on DLC so if you can give us Halo gamers more adventures in space, then it will be much appreciated.

Garv