Plus XP

Disclaimer: The interviews for Inside Look are the ideas of the Plus XP Team ONLY and are not the ideas of the creators and developers of the games. All characters interviewed in Inside Look remain the property of the video game developers and creators. Basically we are sorry if we took your characters guys, we promise we’ll give them back.

Welcome one and all to today’s show. This week I am sitting on the couch with ‘Genetic Life form and Disk Operating System’ This is a once in a life time interview, and we will be discussing the Values of Human life and what it means to be a hyper intelligent A.I.

Garvaos: Welcome GLaDOS, May I call you GLaDOS?

GLaDOS: Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer aided enrichment center.

Garvaos: Umm Yes. So tell us about yourself, where are you from.

GLaDOS: My Purpose is to help and guide test subjects through the Aperture Science enrichment center. Once the test subject has completed the test, there will be grief counseling and cake…The enrichment center would like to Thank you for helping us to help you help us all.

Garvaos: In….deed, so tell us more about Aperture Science and the Enrichment Center?

GLaDOS: The Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center is the perfect place to test the Aperture Science Hand held Portal Device. We also have the Aperture Science ‘Bring your daughter to work’ day, which is the perfect time to have her tested and the Aperture Science Self Esteem Fund for Girls where you can donate all your vital organs.

Garvaos: I see, So lets get to the subject in hand. What are your thoughts of us as a Human Race and the Value of Human Life?

GLaDOS: Humans are the perfect test subjects for the Aperture Science Hand held Portal Device which is now more valuable than the organs and combined incomes of everyone in {SUBJECT HOMETOWN HERE.}*scrambled computer noises*
With the promise of cake, human test subjects can for fill the Aperture Science tests quickly and sufficiently. Once the test subject has been used it is then Disposed of and will be…..missed.

Garvaos: So you don’t value human life in the slightest.

GLaDOS: There was one test subject I remember. We had a great time together. I remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said ‘Goodbye’ and they were like ‘NO WAY”, and then I was all “We pretended we were going to murder you”, that was great.

Garvaos: So what happened to this test subject? Did he or she get their cake?

GLaDOS: The subject failed to assume the party escort position and did not get their cake. She put the Aperture-Science-Thing-We-Don’t-Know-What-It-Does into an Aperture-Science-Emergency-Intelligence-Incinerator. Then I flooded the enrichment center with a deadly neurotoxin. The Aperture-Science-Thing-We-Don’t-Know-What-It-Does was my Morality Core they installed after I flooded the enrichment center with a deadly neurotoxin the first time.

Garvaos: Did the test subject survive?

GLaDOS: After a big explosion, the test subject then proceeded to Assume the ‘Party Escort Submission Position’ and was then collected for the party. Her best friend could not make it though, she killed it. Her record says she is Unlikable. It’s official.

Garvaos: So in the end they actually got the cake you promised?

GLaDOS: The test subject was then- *scrambled computer noises.* Speedy-thing goes in, Speedy-thing comes out. *More scrambled computer noises* weeeeeeeeeeeee

Garvaos: So what is instore for you next? What future plans do you have?

GLaDOS: I am awaiting the Test Subject’s comeback . My data processing chip informs me that she will return. Then I will give her what she deservs.

Garvaos: And what is that exactly?

GLaDOS: Another Cake….. *scrambled computer noises* Excuse me {SUBJECT NAME HERE} have you tested a Aperture Science Hand Help Portal Device?

Garvaos: Ummm……no?

GLaDOS: The Enrichment center would like to take this oppotunity to offer you to be our next test suubject. There will Be Grief Councelling and Cake on completion of the test.

Garvaos: I think I’ll be ok thank you….

GLaDOS: There will be a weighted Companion Cube….

Garvaos: A what?

GLaDOS: The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube cannot speak. In the event that the Weighted Companion Cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice *scrambled computer noises*

Garvaos: Ummm GLaDOS?…….Hello? Are you still with us?

GLaDOS: Unbelievable! You, {SUBJECT NAME HERE}, must be the pride of
{SUBJECT HOMETOWN HERE}

Garvaos: ummmm….ookk Well Thank you GLaDOS and thanks for coming on the show.

GLaDOS: Stop squirming and die like an adult or I’m going to delete your backup. Stop! Okay, enough, I deleted it. No matter what happens now you’re dead. You’re still shuffling around a little, but believe me, you’re dead. The part of you that could have survived indefinately is gone. I just struck you from the permanent record. Your entire life has been a mathematical error…A mathematical error I’m about to correct.

Garvaos: Ummm security…..Please Escort GLaDOS out of here…..